sup-london:

whenever you try to fall asleep during hot summer nights

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(via thoteology)

spoken-not-written:

WAKE UP AMERICA.

THESE ARE ‘WAFFLE FRIES’

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THESE ARE POTATO WAFFLES

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YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON POTATO WAFFLES AS WELL AS FREE HEALTH SERVICE AND ME. I PITY YOU.

(via thoteology)

hellyeahyums:

the-gingerdancer:

sextronautt:

how can lawyers argue without crying 

or swearing

if i went into a courtroom i’d be all

now you fucking listen here you little cumslut 

"he has been found guilty

"HA IN YOUR FUCKING FACES, BITCHES."

(via allh4il-thethi3f)

the-vashta-nerada:

ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND  THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE

TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS

(via nsome)

hornyspice:

when someones sick and coughs in class
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(via hotboyproblems)

jerkofficial:

when he doesn’t love you anymore when you’re no longer young and beautiful

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(Source: jerkofficial, via papifranco)

heterophobianca:

livin a life of constantly being a little bit sleepy and mildly turned on

(via theuntitledfreak)

spermbanker:

charmander-isthe-bomb:

spermbanker:

wow you have very nice looking hands…… i bet they would look even better wrapped up in mine…..

or around my dick

or clasped together in prayer askin god to help you see the error of your ways

(via theuntitledfreak)

goonsac:

[job interviewer voice] we found naked pictures of you during a quick google search for your name and we wish to inform you…… that your bod is slammin’ 10/10 you’re hired see you monday

(via theuntitledfreak)