the best pranks are the super harmless ones
like why would you pull someones pants down in public or like put them in danger or humiliate them when you can just baffle them by leaving tiny plastic camels all over their house or taping bill cosby’s face over every single face in every picture in their house?
Last year the seniors had a mariachi band follow the principle for 3 hours
Confuse, don’t abuse ;)
MY NEW MOTTO
Shut up mom, this isn’t a phase. this is the REAL me
(Source: zaynsbro, via breathe-me-into-tomorrow)
i want realistic modern fantasy like
someone finding a dragon egg and livetweeting the process of trying to hatch it (with no prior knowledge on how a dragon egg should be hatched)
a guy selling an enchanted sword on craigslist
a tattoo artist who does spell runes but for really mundane stuff like conjuring a bound demonic pen or for summoning your keys
summoning a demon for the vine
selfies with mermaids
prank calling wizards
(Source: boofficialhamlet, via crumpled-paper-stars)
the rich white boy is 100% scarier than the clown like honestly I’m not even making a white boy joke like this character is scaring me more than the damn clown
okay so we know about jesus when he’s a baby, and jesus when he’s an adult, but does the bible ever mention his rebellious teenager years?
‘jesus, go feed the donkey.’
‘yOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER’
the ground shakes a little, and a voice comes down from the sky
‘do what your stepfather says you little shit’
the only dates i need are tour dates
frumpy shlumpy fat girls matter too
shout out to all the fat girls not in stylish expensive clothes right now
shout out to the fat girls in giant baggy sweaters, two day old makeup, unwashed hair, and hairy bodies.
You’re damn gorgeous too.